Batcannons
by CovenantGirlLoki
Summary: A serious of headcannons that may be happy, crack, sad, short, long, shippy, etc. But hopefully they will be entertaining!
1. Chocolate Drops

Chocolate Drops

Bruce prefers dark chocolate; it's matured and smooth (Just like him).

Dick loves white chocolate; it always leaves a sweet taste in his mouth that for some reason reminds him of the deserts his mother used to make him.

Jason likes milk chocolate the best; he can remember the day he first tasted the dairy goodness, he had stolen his first bar when he was six and had always preferred the reliable flavour.

Tim has a weakness for mint chocolate; he always shrugs when asked why but the truth is mint chocolate was one of the few treats his father would allow.

Damien doesn't have a favourite. When Dick found out he vowed to force his little brother to try ever flavour until he has a favourite. Damien tsk's and acts like he hates it… but really he loves it… never before had someone given him chocolate.

**A/N hey guys so this will be a multi-chapter fic that basically consists of my different bat family headcannons. they may be sad, happy, inspiring, or shippy (might be slash or non slash just fyi) but I hope you accept them**


	2. The Nest

**I own nothing, also this one was inspired by a fic called... I think Robin's nest. the original story is really good, and if the writer would like me to take this down I will**

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The Nest

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About a year after he adopted Dick, Bruce came home in search of his little bird. After an hour he had started to worry. "Alfred!" the old butler was beside him instantly. "Where's Dick?"

"I do believe he is in the Nest sir."

"The what?"

Alfred led him to one of the many rooms in the manor. A room that now had a black sign on the front. Written in Alfred's neat hand writing was:

'The Nest. Property of Robin, NO Bat's allowed (unless Robin says otherwise).'

Bruce smirked, knocking on the door he called, "Dickie Bird? Can I come in?"

"Just this once I suppose." Came the response, followed by a small giggle.

Bruce opened the door. The room contained half the pillow population of the manor, Dick's gaming consoles, board games and his IPod doc. Bruce let out a low whistle of appreciation. "Wow."

Dick shrugged smugly, "Well if Batman can have a cave full of all his cool stuff, why can't Robin have a nest?"


	3. Magic Butler

**I own nothing**

Magic Butler

Alfred has a way of just… knowing. He always knows where everyone is, what everyone's doing and when he is needed. He is the only one that is able to sneak up on the other members of the Batfamily.

Dick has a theory. He believes Alfred was once a ninja that trained with legendary Japanese warrior monks, that's how he is so calm all the time!

Alfred just smiles fondly and chuckles… he never denies it though.


	4. Get Down Mr President

_**Important:**_

**Ok say for those who don't know 'Get down Mr. president' is a (somewhat) violent game. Basically those who know the rules initiate it by placing a finger to their ear (secret agent style), anyone else in the room that notices does the same, this continues until one person is left without their finger in their ear. this unlucky person is 'Mr President'. The other players yell out "Get down Mr President!' and tackle the person to the ground.**

**It's stupid and childish but oh so much fun!**

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**I own nothing**

* * *

Get Down Mister President!

* * *

It had started out as a joke between Dick and Jason… but then Tim had caught on… and then Damien.

Suddenly their little 'joke' had turned into an on-off war with none of the boys wanting to be 'the president'.

And so they found a solution... Bruce.

Needless to say that didn't end well.


	5. Musical Moments

Musical Moments

Dick and Barbra hold monthly karaoke nights at the manor. This little tradition started when they were just kids but has continued through the years. Alfred and Bruce have always enjoyed watching the two belt out songs at the top of their lungs as they dance around the room, completely carefree.

Over the years the other girls have joined in however Jason and Damien often disappear when they see the magic sing machine come out. Surprisingly though Tim stays, he rarely sings, claiming to prefer to watch the girls and Dick sing instead. But when he does join in, his voice always scores perfect 100's.

Barbra's favourite song to sing is 'Most girls' by Pink.


	6. All About Those Bats

All About Those Bats

"Because you know."

Jason groaned.

"I'm all about that base."

Tim sighed 'Not again!'

"'Bout that base."

Damian growled.

"No treble!"

Jason got up, grabbing his dart gun.

"I'm all about that base."

Tim got up, gabbing his Bird-a-rangs.

"'Bout that base."

Damian got up, grabbing his throwing knives.

"No treble!"

Bruce sighed, he had been trying to finish off the last of his Wayne Enterprises work in the manors study. 'Had'... past tense. Unfortunately for the billionaire his eldest son had discovered a new favourite song and had been singing said song for the past three hours, nonstop.

Now usually Bruce enjoyed listening to Dick singing, after all the boy did have an excellent voice. Dick singing normally meant that he was happy, and when he was happy the whole house seemed to be warmer, homier even.

However this was getting ridiculous!

Bruce's musings were interrupted however by the sound of crashing and yelling. Leaving the study to investigate, Bruce had to duck instantly to avoid a throwing knife to the eye, once again thankful for his quick reaction time. Glaring he observed the scene in front of him. Jason, Tim and Damian were attempting to shoot, hit and stab a moving target. Said target proved to be Dick, still singing, loudly, "I'm bringing booty back! Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that! No I'm just playing, I know you think you're fat. But I'm here to tell ya: every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top!"

As he looked on Dick ran up the stairs to avoid Tim before promptly leaping from the top of the stairs when Damian appeared in front of him. grabbing onto the chandelier he sung forward, throwing his body into the air and twisting mid flight to avoid the darts that barrelled towards him from the end of Jason's gun. Landing gracefully Dick sprung up, stuck his tongue out at his brothers and sang, "I'm all about that base, 'bout that base, no treble!" before racing off towards the east wing living room, a snarling Jason, Tim and Damian on his heels.

Alfred, who had appeared next to the caped crusader, turned to his eldest ward. "Should we stop him?"

"Nah," Bruce said, a small smirk forming on his lips. "It's a training exercise."

**A/N Just a little quick one, I don't own anything.**

**I actually love All about that base to be honest **


	7. Ladies' man

**A/N Here is another little one for you guys (I own nothing)**

Ladies Man

It will never cease to annoy Jason that no matter how many floosy girls Dick gets with, Barbra always seems to forgive him.

When he finally demands the answer (head aching from pulling at his hair in frustration) Barbra simply smiles and shrugs and says simply, "That's just Dick."

The answer infuriated Jason even more of course.

Roy finds him an hour later beating the hell out of a punching bag, grumbling about a 'stupid bird'. When Roy asks what was biting him the red head laughs at the bats response. "Next time Dickie-Boy goes back to Babs just watch his face. Trust me."

At first he is confused (because what the hell is that supposed to mean) but sure enough the next weekend when Dick arrived back at the manor, where Barbra was using the batcomputer, after some one night stand Jason was waiting in the shadows to watching.

And finally he understood.

With a sly smile that was borderline cocky and lust filled eyes promising trouble, Dick tilted his head down _just so_. Blinking slowly to draw Bab's attention to his oh-so-blue eyes, the eldest bat brother gently took Barbra's hand and lifted it to his lips to deliver a kiss so intimate that Jason felt almost guilty for seeing. The girl giggled as Dick sent her a wink before turning away to enter the main house.

Jason heard Barbra sigh contently. there was no denying it. His brother was a ladies' man to the core.

But then again... he had grown up with the most famous playboy in Gotham after all.

**A/N Because let's be honest here, Dick is so not innocent!**


	8. Four in One

**A/N here you go guys, four in one **

**I own nothing**

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**This is why Billionaires don't cook... **

**(dedicated to Jada121 Hope you like it :D )**

Alfred had gone out that day to take care of personal matters. Bruce (not wanting to leave his new ward home alone) had taken the day off. Everything had been going fine... until lunch rolled around.

In an effort to make young Dick a toasted cheese sandwich The Batman had somehow managed to break four plates, cracked the oven door, burnt half the kitchen and melted one pot.

Once the flames were put out Dick, who had been watching from the kitchen table, pipped up, "Maybe we should order pizza?"

* * *

**What the F***?!**

Contrary to popular belief Jason doesn't actually swear that much.

Well... no that's not true... he swears like a sailor.

However he is not the biggest swearer in the Bat Family.

That title belongs to Tim.

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**Nightcore**

Dick listens to various types of music. He absolutely loves Nightcore'd music (much to his brothers horror).

His ringtone is in fact the Nightcore version of Trouble Maker.

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**VS**

Belief it or not, Jason and Damien don't actually fight all that much.

Oh no... they're far too busy fighting Dick and Tim.

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**The Chandelier**

Alfred hates it.

Clark finds it amusing.

Bruce is simply used to it by now.

Barry gets nervous because of it.

Oliver has had Dick and Jason around so much that he too is used to it.

For whatever reason the Bat Boys have a tendency to use the manors chandelier. Dick used it as a launcher when he can't be bothered to take the stairs. Jason uses it as a hiding place when Barry comes over (it's the perfect place to sit and wait for the perfect moment to scare the bee-gee-bers out of the speedster). Tim uses it as swing (more on that later). Damien uses it as a seat when he needs time away from the others.

When Bruce first came home to find Dick practising his back flips by jumping from the chandelier, he build a whole section of both the gym and the Batcave dedicated to gymnastics.

When Jason first leapt down to land directly behind Barry (and sent him running) He had told him to find a better hiding spot.

When he first found Tim swinging lazily back and forth using his grappling hook he had simply sighed.

When Bruce came home to find crumbs on the floor, directly beneath the chandelier, he was hardly surprised to find his youngest son sitting contently atop the light, eating chips.

And, well, by that point the billionaire had simply shrugged.

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**A/N Let me know if you guys liked it?**

**Also feel free to drop a prompt :D**


	9. Piggy back

**A/N Just to quickly clear something up real quick, I have only read the first issue of Nightwing New 52. *Ducks flying objects* I know I suck! In my defence though there is only one comic book store in the entire coast where I live and it only opened recently. **

**This of course means that my headcannons will most likely but non cannon although I do try to have it somewhat cannon. But I do appreciate it when you guys and girls correct me, so please EDUCATE me but don't flame me please. All my knowledge comes from cartoons that I grew up with and wiki info that I have read.**

**Also if you are opposed to Birdflash then you probs won't enjoy the following...**

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**Piggy-Back**

It was no secret among the hero community that the Speedsters and the Bats were close. With Barry being one of Bruce's closest friends (though the bat will always deny this), Dick and Wally being as, eh hum, _close_ as they are and Bart and Tim being best friends and all.

So it really shouldn't surprise the members of the Young Justice team when Robin (Dick) effortlessly jumps on Kid Flash's (Wally's) back whenever the two needed to go somewhere.

It had always amazed Aqualad how naturally the two worked together. Robin would jump at the exact moment Kid Flash would turn around for him.

It was clear to all that, apart from swinging from building to building, Piggy back rides were Robin's preferred method of transpiration.


	10. 3 in 1

**I Own Nothing**

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**Because Anime!**

Dick is fluent in many languages. The team simply presumed that it was because of his Robin training and for the most part they are right.

Only Wally knows that the real reason Dick is fluent in Japanese is so that he can watch anime without having to read the subtitles.

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**He Can What?!**

Little known fact: Jason Todd can rap.

Tim was walking past his door one day and heard him wrapping to an Eminem song. Completely shocked Tim walked down to breakfast with a stunned look on his face.

"What's up Timmy?" Dick asked cheerfully.

"Jay... can rap."

At Tim's words Dick did a spit take (when did he even get the glass of water?!), slammed his hand on the table and all but screamed "He can WHAT?!" before sprinting up the stairs.

When Bruce came out of his room for breakfast he heard arguing and the sounds of a fight coming from Jason's room. He opened the door to find Dick and Jason rolling around on the floor, Dick screaming 'just do it!' and Jason screaming a stream of curse words and death threats.

Closing the door again Bruce decide that it was far too early to have to deal with this crap.

* * *

**A Tad Eccentric**

Everyone always thinks that Dick is too over the top, too flamboyant, too expressive. They say it's childish and annoying. But his family love him for it.

Sure it gets on their nerves from time to time. Like when Dick challenges the workers at Wayne Enterprises to 'Office races' on the rolling chairs when Bruce is actually trying to get some work done. Or when Tim is trying to do homework and Dick decides that he wants to plait his hair. Or when he hides Jason's helmet somewhere in the manor to force him to come home. Or when he randomly snatches Damien into a hug. yeah he does annoy them.

But as they remind people Dick _was_ raised in a circus, in a family of entertainers.

When it really boils down to it though they all know the reason why Dick is so over the top all the time. Gotham is a hard place. Fighting criminals, the things they see, the line between good and evil that they have to toe to protect... it takes its toll on them. It's hard to see the light when you are so busy staring into the darkness. Everyone needs a reminder to smile. And that's why Dick acts the way he does.

Behind his overly happy smiles Dick is actually a serious person, he is after all a hero. So by making others smile he makes himself happier.

Of course saving people makes Dick happy too, but there's something about the smile that pulls on Bruce's lips when he gets dragged into a race, the laughter that bubbles out of Tim when he sees his reflection - hair plaited with fluoro hair bands holding it all in place, the smile that Jason tries so hard to hide when he agrees to stay the night at the manor in exchange for his helmet, the way Damien sighs dramatically before hugging him back tightly, that warms Dick's heart.

So when people complain about Dick being too over the top, too flamboyant and too expressive the other Bat's just shrug and say, "Nah, he's just a tad eccentric is all."

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**A/N Hey hi! So again these are all headcannons so I don't really know Dick acts in the comics, but... yeah.**

**Also I realize that these are pretty Dick centric at the moment. What can I say he's my favourite, let me know who you want to see more of.**

**-CGL**


	11. 10 in 1

**A/N glad you guys and girls are enjoying these, coz I love writing them :D**

**Remember that they are MY headcanons, so you may not always agree with them, but either way I hope they can entertain you :)**

**I Own Nothing**

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**Doubts**

Everyone has doubts. Even Bruce Wayne. He wonders if he did the right thing by taking Damian in. He wonders if he should talk to Tim more. He wonders how Jason's life would have been if he had of saved him. He wonders if Dick is really as happy as he likes people to believe.

But mostly he wonders, "Am I a good father?"

Dick just smiles and bumps his shoulder with his own, "Of course you are."

And the certainty in his voice is enough to drive away his doubts... for now.

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**Dancing King**

Tim taught the others how to dance.

Sure Dick and Jason knew how to dance in clubs, but when it came to formal dances like waltzes they were clueless. Tim though was an expert thanks to the lessons his mother enrolled him in as a child.

Damian refuses to participate in such fruitless activities.

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**Protective**

Jason is actually very protective over his family, especially Alfred.

He of course denies this. Well... except for Alfred.

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**Disappointment**

One of Tim's greatest fears is disappointing his family.

One of Damian's greatest fears is disappointing his family.

One of Jason's greatest fears is disappointing his family.

One of Dick's greatest fears is disappointing his family.

Bruce's greatest fears is disappointing his family.

None of them show it, but when it comes down to it they are all terrified that they won't make each other proud.

Thankfully Alfred will always be there to reassure them that he is proud of them.

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**Time Lord**

One of Dick's theories on how Alfred has survived the five of them is that he has to be a time lord.

Simple as that.

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**Horses**

Damian has a massive weakness for horses. He kept on insisting that the family get one. Eventually Bruce caved.

They now have a private stable and fourteen horses. Damian loves every single one.

* * *

**Surprise... or not...**

When Dick first came out to his family that he was bisexual he was terrified of what their reaction might be.

After seven seconds of silence Jason said, "Yeah, we know. Anything else?"

Dick rubbed the back of his neck, "Um... no."

They all went back to whatever they were doing before hand as if nothing had changed, because really, nothing had.

* * *

**Physics**

Contrary to popular belief, Jason isn't all brawn and no brain. He was in fact top of his physics class.

* * *

**Disney man.**

They all have their favourite Disney movies.

Dick: Peter Pan

Jason: Aladdin

Tim: Monsters Inc

Damien: Lilo And Stitch

Barbra: Mulan

Steph: The Princess and The Frog

Cass: Brave

They all have their individual favourite songs but they all agree that 'I'll make a man out of you' is the best Disney song.

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**Instruments**

Dick can play piano. Alfred taught him when Bruce first took him in. Sitting in front of the grand piano the two spent hours, Alfred was a patient teacher and Dick was a fast learner but at the time his lack of English skills proved to be difficult.

Jason can play guitar. He taught himself on an old acoustic his mother gave him. Though being the ward of a billionaire means that he can have any number of guitar's Jason still has that old acoustic, he always feels at ease strumming the old familiar strings.

Tim can play violin. When he was still young he had been wandering around the Drake manor, his parents had been out somewhere, where not important. He found the violin in the bottom of his father's closet. It had been in need of a polish and a tuning but, with the help of a how to guild he found on the internet, it was still playable. He thought that he knew how to play... until he played the old violin in the Wayne manor and was stopped by Alfred, demanding what that screeching was. After a few of Alfred's lessons though Tim realized where he had been going wrong.

About six months after Damian moved into the manor Barbra suggested to get him a drum kit. Dick had been confused at first until she reminded him that when Conner (Superboy) had been struggling with his anger management skills Ollie suggested that the boy redirect his frustration into the drums. Dick agreed and it worked. Unfortunately Damian had a tendency to play said drum kit at four in the morning. But hey, at least he had stopped trying to kill Tim.


	12. Doubles

**A/N I won nothing, I fell like writing more of these! Would you guys care if I wrote a music one, like an iPod shuffle one?**

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**Caught With My Pants Down**

The only Bat Boy yet to have his nude photo taken by the paparazzi is Damian.

Jason is ninety eight percent sure that this is only because he once threatened to kill a journalist for asking about his love life.

Thankfully Batman made sure to dispose of the photo's... unfortunately Kid Flash still somehow got a copy. It would be perfect blackmail material if he wasn't terrified of a certain Bat.

* * *

**This Is Why Acrobats Don't Cook** _*During Dick's Young Justice days*_

Wally sped into the kitchen only to crash into his best friend (and secret crush) Robin. "Wow sorry man!"

"It's alright." Robin's voice was far away as he stood, still staring intently at the pot on the stove.

Wally waved a hand in front of his face, "Hello? Paging Boy Wonderful. What's up man?"

"Wally you cook right?"

"Speedster so yeah."

"You can boil water hey?"

"Uh... yeah...?" Wally wasn't sure where this was going.

"Is the pot meant to do that?" Robin asked, pointing towards the stove.

Following his finger Wally's eyes widened at the sight of the glass pot lid shaking. "No it is more definitely not!" he yelled, grabbing Robin and bolting to the cover of the couch. moments later the lid flew from the pot, slamming into the roof and shattering, sending water and glass everywhere.

After the chaos had died down the redhead burst into a laughing fit, "You're Robin! Batman's protégé! How did you screw up boiling water!?" he managed between laughter.

Robin punched his arm, a red tinting his cheeks, "Shut it Kid Dork!"

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**Let's be honest here I'll probs do the iPod shuffle regardless of what you guys think**


	13. Hoods and Kittens

**I Own Nothing**

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**Pink Hood**

Dick did a bad thing. A very very very bad thing. He broke Jason's helmet. But he fixed it so everything should be fine... should.

The final touch was a fresh coat of paint.

He left it in the cave to dry.

He didn't think that Jason was going to be patrolling that night.

He was wrong.

It had been raining that night and Dick had been on duty with the police force. Tim was sick so Bruce called in Red Hood to help patrol.

Dick came back to the manor exhausted, all he wanted to do was sleep. lying down on the couch (not wanting to go upstairs because come on there's so many of them and surely he wasn't_ too_ old for Bruce to carry right?). He had just closed his eye when he felt himself being lifted up. Opening his eyes Dick wasn't sure if he should scream or laugh.

Jason held him off the ground, still in full costume, and growled out, "Dick there better be a damn good reason why my helmet turned pink when it started to rain!"

* * *

**Kitten**

Salina Kyle will forever be the motherly figure of the Bat-family.

She's the one who spent hours running over roof tops, flipping and twisting, with Dick when Bruce left Robin in charge of Gotham while he was on league business.

She's the one whose door is always open to Jason when he needed to get away from the others.

She's the one who sits patiently, nodding and agreeing when necessary, and simply listening when Tim needs to vent about his stupid brothers.

She's the one that can see where Damien is coming from, having a blurred view on the line between right and wrong herself.

She's the one that rubs Bruce's shoulders after his had a long day and the boys are fighting and everything is going to shit and she quietly reminds him that boys will be boys and everything will be alright.

She's the one that never knocks before coming inside and heading straight for the kitchen before shooing Alfred out because he deserves a break and a cup of tea and 'here Alf let me make those!'.

And every year on mother's day she is reminded that she is part of the family by the four boys (and yes they are _boys_ because it doesn't matter that Dick is twenty seven and that Jason has died and came back because no matter what they will always be her boys) standing at her doors with bunches of roses and boxes of chocolate. They spend the day eating ice cream on the roof of her crummy apartment and that night Alfred prepares a feast for her and it warms her heart because even though she doesn't have any sons she has four kittens that she loves like her own.

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**A/N So... yeah... could be better. I love the idea of the boys thinking of Salina as a mother figure :)**


	14. Drinking Days

**A/N This is not really a headcannon per say but... eh**

**I own nothing**

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Drinking Days

Bruce groaned. Glancing at the clock beside his bed he saw that it was two am. Normally the vigilante would still be out patrolling the streets of Gotham at this time but he had had a long off-world mission with the League and had needed a break. Dick had volunteered to do the patrol for him and he had gladly accepted… speaking of Dick… was that his voice that had awoken him at this ungodly hour?!

Against his better judgement he got out of bed and pulled on his dressing gown (black silk of course). Opening up his door he saw his two youngest sons also coming out of their rooms. Tim yawned as he rubbed his eyes tiredly, a confused look on his face, "Dad? What's going on?" the young hero's voice was slurred.

Damien stared up at him, his tired state making him more irritable than usual. "If you don't shut those two idiots up I will end them." He muttered before going back to bed, slamming his door shut behind him.

Bruce squeezed Tim's shoulder; the poor guy was falling asleep where he stood. "Why don't you go back to bed Timmy, I'll handle this." Tim mumbled something that sounded sarcastic before shuffling back to bed.

Going down the stairs he stopped at the door of the living room, taking a moment to simply take in the scene before him.

Dick, glad in his Nightwing outfit, was doing a handstand on the back of the couch, giggling hysterically as Jason stood behind the couch tickling his stomach. Eventually the tickling seemed to get to him as Dick toppled on to the couch before falling to the floor. Jason howled with laughed, doubling over and clutching his stomach.

Jason's helmet was lying next to the door but his eyes were still covered by the domino mask. What worried Bruce was the fact that Dick's bright blue eyes were exposed to the world. He cleared his throat to gain their attention.

Both looked up. "Oh shit!" Jason said, trying to stifle his laughs.

Dick swallowed before adding in a low voice, "It's Batman!"

Silence followed... before the two began laughing again. Bruce narrowed his eyes, "Are you two drunk?"

Dick gasped dramatically. Jason stared at him in shock, "Why I never!"

Bruce glared. "You were supposed to be on patrol! Not getting wasted!"

Dick stood, swaying slightly on his normally steady feet, "In our defence… it was a surprisingly quiet night!" he said, his voice changing pitch as he did so.

Bruce shook his head, "I am too tired to deal with this right now. To bed! Both of you!" pointing in the direction of the stairs.

Dick and Jason stood next to each other and saluted. "Sir Yes sir!" they chorused together.

"March!" Bruce growled. The two started up the stairs chanting 'left, right, left' as they went. Bruce groaned before following. Jason thankfully went straight to his room, falling on the bed and passing out on his stomach, mouth hanging open. Bruce went through to his a joined bathroom and pulled the bucket from under the sink and placed it beside the bed, knowing that Jason would need it in the morning.

Closing his door he turned back to his eldest sons' room, about to do the same for him, only to stop when he found the acrobat commando crawling down the hall, past Damien's room and towards Tim's door. "Dick? What are you doing?"

The black haired twenty five year old froze. "Shhh! You'll wake up Timmy!" he whispered urgently.

Bruce's eye twitched. "Dick go to bed."

"But I haven't said good night to Timmy yet!" he whined, genuine tears forming in his eyes.

'I hate my life', Bruce thought as he pulled his adult son to his feet and put an arm around him in comfort, "There there Dick. You can always say good night to him tomorrow." Bruce said. Trying to reason with the acrobat when he was intoxicated was like trying to convince a four year old that needles were fun, aka near impossible.

Dick suddenly flipped backwards, somehow landing on his feet. Without a word Dick headed down the hall towards Bruce's room. 'Well at least he's leaving Timmy alone.' Bruce thought as he followed. Entering his room Bruce felt a small smile tug at his lips. Dick had decided to fall asleep in his bed.

Bruce couldn't bring himself to wake him. His annoyance forgotten, the billionaire retrieved a bucket and placed his beside the bed. Leaning down he pressed a gentle kiss to his son's forehead, "Goodnight Chum."

He then headed to Dick's room, where he was finally able to get some sleep.

* * *

When Bruce awoke next it was at the reasonable time of nine am. It took him a few heartbeats to realise where he was before memories of the mornings events came back.

The sound of pained moans and laughter caught his ear. Leaving Dick's room to investigate he found Tim explaining string theory to Jason as the elder alternated between throwing things at the younger and vomiting into the toilet. He hesitantly walked further to his own room where he found Damien playing dubstep music (at top volume) and throwing what appeared to be metal balls at Dick, who was also hunched over the toilet. The words 'never again' being repeated like a mantra.

Bruce smirked, 'Never again my ass.'


	15. Smile

**A/N I own nothing**

**Smile**

Wally once asked, while helping Alfred see to Batman and Nightwing who had just returned from a League mission - both sporting injuries and both exhausted physically and mentally - 'How do you find a reason to keep smiling?'

The question had thrown Dick through a loop, he had never been asked that before. Or at least not under similar circumstances and never by Wally. Furrowing his brow the tired guardian of Gotham thought.

After a few moments he shrugged. "I don't know. I guess... with all the crap we've been through - not just me but Bruce, Jay, Tim and Dami too - and all the messed up things we've had to see... the fact that we're still here, still fighting, still living, still finding new and inventive ways to drive Bruce insane, is just entertaining to me. I mean if you had of told me that this would be my life when I was eight I would have thought you were crazy. But here we are. Naturally I wish things could be different. I still miss my family, I hate what my brothers have had to go through, I wish that the world would just get it's shit together and realise that hurting one another doesn't really accomplish anything... but I know that I can't change these things.

Don't get me wrong there are still days where it's impossible to find the silver linings and on those days I really can't find a reason to smile. But those days are just a part of life, there's always going to be crappy days but there's always going to be good days too, you know? As a whole I am happy. I lost my parents and the rest of my family that night, but I found a new one, they can never replace my parents but I know that they're here for me when I need them. I still get to do my acrobatic routines only the costume has changed and rather than performing under the big top I get to soar under the stars above the streets of one of the worst cities in the world.

I get to make a difference on people's lives. I guess that's the main reason too. Knowing that I'm helping people have a better life is reason to smile. I mean it sucks when I get kidnapped, or when Scarecrow tests new strands of gas on me or when Joker decides to pay me a visit but if it means that I can stop other kids losing their families then it's not as bad. At the end of the day I know that my family are going to be there to swoop in and help me, if not them then my friends like you. Knowing that I have people around me to help is reason to smile. Life is a lot easier when you can laugh off all the crap that's going on."

Wally had sat there listening to his friends reasons and by the end of it he found himself smiling too. as he secured the last of the bandages and whipped off the last traces of blood from his friends wounds the speedster nodded. "Those are some damn good reasons."

A/N Yeah so... this happened... thoughts?


	16. Not Him

**A/N May be a slight spoiler for anyone who watches Fairy Tail...**

**I do not own any thing**

* * *

**Not Him!**

The peace that had settled over the Wayne Manor was suddenly broken by the agonising scream that echoes through the home.

Immediately Bruce was running up the stairs from the Batcave, Alfred all but dropped the vase he had been cleaning, Jason had leaped to his feet, Tim and Damien stopped the harmless argument they were engaging in; all rushing to find the source of the scream.

The five followed the sound to Dick's room. Busting the door open, prepared to destroy whoever it was that had caused the twenty five year old pain, Bruce came to an abrupt stop when he found his son sitting in front of his laptop with his back to the door. Glancing around the room to make sure he hadn't missed any hidden enemies the now confused and slightly annoyed bat moved to his sons side.

Dick's hands were covering his mouth as muffled sounds broke free. His brothers watched in curiosity as Bruce pulled the earphones from his ears, the sudden action causing Dick to leap away from the laptop and Bruce. After realizing that everything was alright and there were no threats in his room (well apart from Jason) Dick calmed down some.

"Dick are you alright?" Tim asked hesitantly.

"No!" the elder wailed, "They killed him! They freaking shot him in the head!"

"Who?" Jason demanded, confusion playing on his face.

"Gray!"

"Gray?" Damien repeated.

"Yeah!" Dick said, clearly emotional over this 'Gray' person.

Bruce, now seriously frustrated, grabbed his sons shoulders, "Who is Gray?"

"My favourite character from Fairy Tail! Everything was going so well and they bloody killed him!" Dick wailed again.

Damien rolled his eyes and left, Tim sighed and followed. "Oh honestly!" Jason growled before walking off, mumbling about 'idiots acting their damn age'.

"I will go make you some hot chocolate Sir." Alfred said understandingly.

"Thank you Alf." Dick said, still clearly distraught ( heavy on the dis).

Bruce simple shook his head as he watched the other hero get up and click on the next episode. "I am too old for this..."

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**Yeah... I have a headcannon (as mentioned earlier) that Dick watches anime and well I love Fairy Tail with a burning passion and Gray is one of my main favourite characters and they bloody shot him in the head! and my dad walked past and was like 'It's just a cartoon you'll be fine'. Meanwhile I'm over here crying!**


	17. Messing with the League (Green Lantern)

Messing with the League

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The members of the Justice League put up with a lot. Like a _lot_ a lot! Between dealing with batshit crazy villains to balancing their civilian lives and protecting the world the members of the League had learned to be ready for anything and everything.

Nothing could surprise them.

Wrong.

Four birds could.

Four birds did.

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Part 1

Green Lantern

* * *

Green Lantern was a pretty chill guy, or at least he liked to think so. He could normally handle most of his problems with a levelled head and was patient enough to withstand even the Flash's pointless babble.

Which was why it surprised the aforementioned speedster when he entered the Watchtower and found his friend, in his civilian guise, yelling into one of the air vents.

"Umm... Hal? Watcha doing?" Barry asked, munching on some chips.

Hal turned to glare at him over his shoulder, "That little brat took my ring and now he won't give it back!"

"Which little brat?" Barry asked.

Before Hal could answer, however, a voice called from the vent, "Hey I'm not a brat! I'm a Bat!"

Barry tried really hard not to laugh at Hal's face... he really did. "Robin, give Hal his ring back." He said, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice.

"I just want to play with it!" came the whiney reply of the ten year old.

"Robin you can't 'just play with it'! It's extremely powerful and I need it back!" Hal stressed, taking a deep breath he decided to play his final card. He had no other choice. In a grim voice he called, "Robin. If you don't give it back right now I'm going to call Batman."

"...you wouldn't."

"I would and I will." Hal said in his most convincing 'I am the adult here' voice.

"Oh come on GL," Flash said behind him, "He's just a kid!"

"Not helping!" Hal glared at him. "Come on Robin. You have five seconds to give it back."

There was no reply.

"Robin?"

The sound of someone moving through the vents reached the two heroes ears... only it was moving away.

"Damn it Robin!" Hal said, pulling the air vent open and forcing his torso through the small opening, fully intending to follow the small boy.

After a few seconds though Barry cleared his throat, "Hal. You're stuck aren't you?"

"...yeah."

A cackle echoed through the vents as Hal tried, and failed, to free himself.

Barry didn't bother trying to stop the laughter that made him double over as he pulled out his phone, "Yo Oliver! Get to the watchtower! You have got to see this!"

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**A/N so this was part one :) hope you liked it! Own nothing**


	18. Downloads

**Downloads**

Tim downloads everything. Like literally everything. He get's all the music and movies and tv shows he wants and they are always perfect quality. he has a little black market going with the rest of the superhero community.

Bruce doesn't approve. They have billions of dollars, you can always just buy the thing! But Tim always looks at him and says "Utility Belt." and normally that little reminder of how much of their money goes towards their 'nightly activities' is enough to stop any further arguments.

**A/N hey this is short sorry**


	19. Bickering Brothers

Bickering Brothers

Bruce wasn't sure what had started it all. All he knew was that he wanted it to stop. Now.

For the last three weeks Dick and Jason had been at each others' throats, snapping at the smallest thing and blowing everything out of proportion. Every disagreement threatened to turn into World War Three and the constant screaming and swearing was getting on the billionaires nerves.

However it wasn't just Bruce who was sick of the constant fighting, Alfred had used his well earned holiday leave to get some peace.

So when the front door of the manor slammed against the wall and the angry voices of his eldest sons broke through the rare quiet of the house Bruce knew that he had to do something.

Stalking out of the study he followed the sound of the arguing to the main living room where Dick had thrown his bag on the ground next to the couch carelessly before slumping into the seat. Jason stood in front of him, leaning forward in an attempt to intimidate the older. "You know just as well as I do that that guy was wrong and he had it coming!"

Dick sighed angrily, "The guy's a tool sure but that doesn't mean that you had to punch the guy!"

"Well you clearly weren't going to do shit!" Jason yelled in frustration.

Dick stood up, despite being shorter than Jason he was still able to look down at him, "Because it wouldn't have helped! Which 'clearly' it didn't!" he yelled back, tone mocking when he said clearly.

Jason, clearly pissed off pushed his brother hard in the chest. Dick fell back onto the couch with an 'oof'. For a heartbeat the pair glared at each other in silence before Dick let out a cry of anger and tackled Jason to the ground. The two struggled, throwing punched at the other when they could, fighting to get an upper hand on the other.

"That's enough!" Bruce bellowed into the room. However, his order fell on deaf ears as the boys ignored him. Walking forward to separate the pair he was pleasantly surprised to realise that the two were not using their combat training, instead choosing to use - what Jason called - 'Street' fighting.

Grabbing Dicks' shoulder and Jasons' arm he forced the two of them apart. "I said enough! I am sick to death of the two of you fighting! Go to your rooms! Now!"

The two glared at each other a moment longer before begrudgingly going to their rooms.

Shaking his head Bruce picked up Dick's forgotten bag and followed the eldest to his room. opening the door he found that the teen had thrown most of his belongings to the floor and was now lying on his back, staring at the roof angrily.

"You forgot this." Bruce said quietly. When Dick didn't yell at him to leave the billionaire took it as a good sign that it was safe to come in. While it was clear Dick was still mad the worst of his anger seemed to have faded. 'Good,' Bruce thought, he hated having to deal with angry teens. "So... you want to tell me what all this is about.

Dick shrugged.

"Richard."

Dick sighed, "There's this asshole at school who likes to pick on me, it's no big deal and I can handle him. But Jason decided to say something and he just made it a hundred times worse! Now every time the idiot says something Jason tries to jump in and it ends up in a fight! And I have to get involved because if I don't Jason will get the shit beat out of him! I know that he can handle it but it's my problem! And if he shows off his fighting style too much then he is risking everything! And he just can't seem to get that through his thick skull!" Dicks yelled the last sentence towards the wall that separated their bedrooms.

Jason banged the wall in response. Dick gritted his teeth, about to hit the wall back when the sound of Bruce laughing cut him off.

Glaring at his caregiver he demanded, 'Why are you laughing?!"

"Let me get this straight! The two of you have been on the verge of ripping each others' heads off for the last three weeks all because you're defending each other?" Bruce said, laughter and relief clear in his tone.

"Well... yeah." Dick said, now that it had been said aloud he couldn't help but think of how ridiculous it was... but still!

Shaking his head Bruce ruffled the teens hair fondly, "This will blow over soon enough Dick. Do you want me to talk to Jay?" he offered.

Reluctantly Dick shook his head, "No... I'll handle it."

Bruce nodded. "Good. And Dick? Next time you have a problem at school with someone, tell me ok? I may not be able to go all Bat on them but I can still help you out chum."

Dick smiled, "Thanks dad."

**A/N: Hey guys! Long time no update! i am slowly getting through the requests so keep them coming!**

**i own nothing**


	20. Get Down Mr President part 2

**Any Requests? (Part One)**

* * *

**Get Down Mr President (part 2)**

* * *

Tim yawned. God these hero meetings were boring! Six months ago the Justice League had started holding monthly meetings with a few representatives from the Young Justice team and the Teen Titans. The idea was so that the groups could give updates on any problems that they were having and let the others know if there were any impending disasters they may need to know about.

It sounds interesting right? Wrong.

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin were expected to stay throughout the whole meeting, including the budget breakdown. Superman was currently talking about how much money he now owed the city, which would be a lot less if he would stop insisting on throwing people through walls but hey if it got the job done than Tim wasn't really in any position to complain.

As hard as he tried to focus on the heroes words he soon found himself look around. Nightwing looked like he was on the verge of sleep, the older hero had been pulling long shifts lately and even longer nights so he was exhausted and talking about money really wasn't helping. Robin sat on the other side of the table, twirling a sharpened bird a rang in his hand absentmindedly, clearly not interested in what Superman was saying.

Tim's eyes wandered to the wall behind Batman, Red Hood had been brought up for this meeting so that he could tell the other heroes about the underground of Gotham, some bad guy was planning on extending his reach into other cities so the heroes had to be warned to know what to be on the lookout for. Jason now leaned against the wall, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

While the other heroes had accepted the fact that Red Hood was not a villain and was in fact an ex Robin they still didn't trust him.

The quiet in the room caught Tim's attention and for a second he thought that the meeting was finally over, he had an assignment to do and some sleep to catch up on. But sadly no.

Batman stood up from where he sat next to Nightwing, tapping the boy on the shoulder to wake him up as he walked to the head of the table to present his information on... something, at this point Tim truly didn't care enough to pay attention.

With a sigh he leaned forward, figuring he should probably at least act like he was paying attention. His masked eyes met those of his brothers. A small smirk crept onto Nightwing's face and Tim just knew that this would _not_ end well.

With a slow, deceptively innocent move Nightwing placed his finger on his ear, in a way that looked an awful lot like the secret service...

Tim shook his head a little, 'No! Surely he isn't serious right now!' he thought desperately as he looked at Robin. Damien smiled widely and copied his brother.

Tim looked at Jason, praying that just this once he would be the voice of reason. No. Of course not. Jason had already assumed the position.

The three looked at Tim dangerously. "Shit..." he whispered, putting his finger to his ear. 'Ok ok breath this is actually happening! We're actually going to do this! We are going to be killed and our heads will be mounted in the Batcave but we are actually going to do this!' he thought with a mixture of excitement and terror. Martian Manhunter looked over at him in confusion, clearly picking up on his mixed emotions.

As one the four Bat Boys stood up and yelled at the top of their lungs, "Get down Mr President!" before crash tackling Batman to the floor, Damian and Tim pilling on top of their brothers who held down the man who seemed to be in too much shock to react.

In fact the entire room seemed to be in shock.

The first one to snap out of it (unsurprisingly) was Flash, the man howled in laughter, tears slipping from beneath his cowl as he banged the table. Hal and Oliver soon joined him, all three men nearly falling from their chairs. The other representatives from Young Justice and Teen Titans tried their best not to show their laughter, but soon enough they too were losing it. Superman and Wonder Woman were the only ones not laughing, both concerned about Batman who still seemed shocked that his boys had done this.

Martian Manhunter seemed to be pleased, now understanding Tim's earlier moment of panicked excitement.

Batman snapped out of his shock and pushed his smiling sons off him, "Cave. Now." he ordered in a growl before leaving. Tim gulped and looked at his brothers nervously. Damian and Jason seemed unperturbed by the order and shrugged. Dick turned to face the others and bowed lowly, "And that ladies and gentleman, concludes our meeting!" he said cheerfully before leading the them to the zeta beams.

* * *

Once they got back to the cave they were greeted by the sight of Batman standing there with his arms crossed.

Dick stepped forward, "Bruce... I get you're mad but-"

Dick was cut off... by Bruce laughing. 'Wait what?'

Bruce pulled off his cowl and doubled over laughing, "That you boys for getting me out of there!" he said once he had calmed down some, "Those meetings are so damn boring! And if I have to hear one more time about how much property damage Clark does I swear I will throw kryptonite at him!"

"Wait... so you're not mad?" Tim asked slowly.

"What? Of course not!" Bruce said, turning he headed for the change rooms before calling out, "Oh but you're all grounded for a month."

"Damn it!"

* * *

**A/N So this was the first of the requests!**

**Dedicated to animesbff13! Hope you liked it!**

**I own nothing**


	21. Messing with the League Part 2 (Superman

**Messing with the League (Part 2)**

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**Green for Go**

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**I own nothing**

* * *

Of all the Robin's Jason was the one to take the title of the only one bat shit crazy enough to pull a prank on the Man of Steel (now that isn't to say that Damien wouldn't have been brave enough to do so, but after what Jason did what he did it was made very clear that if anyone tried to pull such a stunt again they would be at the mercy of a pissed of Kryptonian).

It had occurred when the then-Robin was sixteen, an age where teenagers started to drabble in rebellion and risky behaviour. And when you already spend most nights fighting deadly criminals in one of the world's most dangerous cities, you sort of have to push the limits if you want to do something risky.

Batman had left him at the Watch Tower while he and Nightwing dealt with Joker and Harley, apparently the Bat thought that Joker was too dangerous for Jason, whatever. The teen had been in the cafeteria, leaning forward on one of the tables, pouting when Green Arrow had come in.

It was late so the (other) billionaire vigilante hadn't expected to find a grumpy teenager where he had been planning on eating and ditching some fund raiser his company was sponsoring. "Hey little man, what's up?" he asked casually, sitting across from him and pulling out a few of his arrows to sharpen and clean.

"Nothing." Robin said stubbornly, sitting up a little and picking up one of the arrows, masked eyes stubbornly fixed on the green arrow head. Oliver simply waited. He had had enough practice with Roy to know that Jason would speak up on his own. Sure enough a few moments later Robin growled out, "Batman thinks that Joker is 'too dangerous' for me to handle! Like seriously that's bull! I lived in Gotham for years without his help and besides he let Dick fight him when he was my age! Favourite child much?!"

Oliver resisted the urge to smile at how childish the other sounded, that would definitely end badly for him. "Well at least you get to hang out up here?"

Robin snorted and the older hero was once again reminded at how different he and Dick were, "Oh yeah cause there's _so _much to do here!"

This time Oliver smirked, "You'll find something. Superman's around somewhere too, maybe you can bug him into doing something?" he suggested before standing up when his phone rang (how the hell was he getting reception up here?!), leaving the teen to think.

Twirling the arrow in his hand Jason thought. Arrow... _green_ arrow... Jason smiled a wicked grin that was far too much like his brothers to be comforting. 'Well_ there's_ an idea...'

* * *

Superman had been in the main area of the Watch Tower, watching over the computer screens that showed any alerts of any dangers as well as the positions of the active heroes nearby.

The lights above him flickered.

The Kryptonian thought nothing of it.

The lights flickered again, this time he picked up on the soft foot falls of someone behind him.

He turned... no one there...

The lights in the room went out and Superman jumped out of his seat, turning around and getting ready to fight.

Someone tapped him on the back.

The Man of Steel spun on his heel.

"Kryptonite!" Jason screamed from where he was standing on the seat, the arrow head a glowing green colour (thank you glow in the dark paint). A green colour that was an awful lot like Kryptonite...

Superman screamed in surprise and flew off. Oliver came running into the room, flipping the lights back on only to find Superman gone and Robin on the floor laughing.

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**A/N I know it's been a while but I hope you guys like it!**

**Also in case it wasn't clear the last 'Messing with the League' featured Dick Grayson as Robin.**


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